I was so mad at Grey's tonight. I'm seriously starting to really dislike the show so much. Bailey makes it all amazing though. The mentioning Denny made me seethe at how nonchalant she was about him. RAWR. That made me so flippin mad! The show just bugs me now. George and Izzie don't work and would never work. They are too much the same person. And have no chemistry to boot! Meredith seems to have a constant stick up her ass and I just want to beat her. Ugh. I seriously would give up on the show if one of the mothers at work didn't like to come in and talk to me about it when she picks up her daughter.

But on to better things. I read a book tonight that totally made me fall in love with reading all over again. I was re-inspired, and I so needed that. Part of it may be because I'm overly hormonal at the moment, but I really don't think that's it. I had tears in my eyes at the end of the book I got so mushy. It's called Fantasy Lover by Sherrilyn Kenyon. Love, Greek Mythology and humor. I was sold. I started it at 11:30 and finished it about 20 minutes ago, unable to put it down. I'm just so in love. I feel refreshed! It's so funny how simple things like that can make me feel so amazing, but they can! I guess I'm just a simple person. I loved the characters, I could feel the chemistry, I love how they connected and I love how they discovered themselves at the same time. It was just...ugh. And I could not help but giggle every time Priapus was mentioned, because it always made me think of priapism. Damn those stupid commercials, but hehe! In thinking about priapism, I thought of the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights, because of the part where King Richard declares that all toilets will be known as John's. Which is why I found the whole mentioning Priapus funny. But I digress.

I got my hair done yesterday! I'll have to post pictures, it looks really cute. At least, I think so, but I'm never a good judge of these things. It took the woman over 3 hours because I have so much flippin hair. Ugh. I did it in hopes of helping my crappy week. I've just felt bleck. I miss New York like a fiend, I've been overly hormonal like you wouldn't believe and it's just sucked. Watching the way my babies react to their mothers when they picked them up just made my ovaries explode, seriously. Nature is cruel with it's ability to make women long for a baby, when the woman knows good and well that it's not the time, nor is it ever likely to really happen, so what's the point in longing? But oh the ache it can create. Right in your very center.It just...ugh. No. I'm done going down that path.It's just not in the cards for me. I'll learn to deal.

I did get some nice news though. The acting classes at my school have to write 2 play reviews a semester, so naturally, there were a lot of reviews handed in about Cripple. My acting teacher said that every single review that was turned in to her praised my performance and my accent. She said this wasn't just generally across the board, this was every single one. That made me feel pretty damn good for a few minutes. Then real life squashed that feeling down real quick. Ah well. At least I have my babies to make me feel better. I wish I could capture the reaction Sarah gives me when I come in for the day. Nothing has ever made me feel so important before in my entire life. She's 7 months old, and when she sees me, her whole face just scrunches into the biggest grin she can manage (She's a tiny little thing!) her eyes light up, she starts bouncing in place and she squeals! When I pick her up, she just beams at me and scrunches her fingers into my hair/neck/face (and it REALLY hurts, but I so don't care) and just squeals some more and buries her face in my neck. It's just...wow. I've never gotten such a reaction before! It's so...I don't know what it is, but it just melts me into goo. Those hugs she gives me just make my day, even if they hurt like hell. Lauren gives me big hugs too, but she's much less demonstrative about it. She always has been. She's the most serious 8 month old I know. Sarah's going to be gone for the summer, and you better believe I'm going to miss her like crazy. It's so funny, but she follows me around with her eyes constantly, no matter who's got her or what she's doing. Once she sees me come in, she's glued. Even when mom is holding her she watches me. Oh I love that baby so much.

I wish Borders was open right now. I need another book to distract myself so I can stop making myself cry. I may never suffer from a monthly period (yes, I know this isn't a good thing, but I can't afford to see a doctor, right now. And all they'll do is put me on birth control (which I find ironic) and I don't want anymore pills. That's how they fixed it last time, and I just do not want to have to take more feckin pills to make my body behave normally. I take one to stay sane, to sleep and to get by. I'm done with pills. That and I have no insurance coverage, so no feckin way.) but I suffer from the mood swings and such. It's awful. Urgh.